Monthly Motivation

144 | How to help someone who doesn’t want to be helped

Oct 4, 2019

How do you help someone, for example a family member in pain who doesn’t want to listen to you, do yoga, move their body or eat differently? This is a tough one because pain can cause resentment and anger and make it more difficult for people to take advice. It’s very easy to think, gosh, I have so many things I could help this person with. I could tell them about movement, about how they should be eating more healthfully and closer to the earth. But it’s important to take it slowly, especially with family. 


I want you to think of the acronym HELP when you see someone close to you struggling. H stands for hang back. Observe what you see the person doing or saying that is a cry for help. See where the person is giving you an opening to assist.


E stands for entrance. Gently enter the conversation and keep looking for cues from the person. Ask them questions such as, would you like to go see a physical therapist? Would you like to start exercising? What do you think is causing it? 


L stands for let them guide you. Often telling them what to do with what’s worked for you really closes people down. Let them guide the direction of the conversation. For example, ask if they have done anything that makes them feel better.


P stands for patience. Patiently give them ideas plus your presence and sometimes presents. For example, you could gift them a massage or a yoga pass or offer to show do a simple exercise with them, like bridge pose for lower back pain. Give them one little gift rather than trying to throw a whole exercise program their way. Patience is key. 


I hope this helps you assist others. As always, I’m pulling for you. You can always reach out to me at Please share and subscribe to the podcast rate and review it if you haven’t because that always helps, and I love to hear what you have to say. 



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